The "C" Family's Adoption Journey: A Birthmother's Story

Our Story

Any parent knows that they would do anything for their child, even something as uncomfortable as fundraising to help their child. We can’t bring our precious babe home without your help. Please share our story…

While Doug and I had planned on adopting again in the future, I was surprised with a call from our agency. Our daughter Mya’s birthmother is expecting and wants us to adopt her baby boy due in only a few short months. Though we were excited at the news a look at our finances told us it was impossible. With adoption fees totaling over $40,000 (more than twice the fee for Mya's adoption) we knew there was no way my husband and I could possibly pay for this adoption. Over the past month we have done everything we can think of to come up with the money, including refinancing our home, looking at loans, slashing our budget, and setting up a garage sale. We are reaching out to anyone that can help us, no matter the size of the donation.

Please help us keep these beautiful children together. We deeply appreciate any and all donations, suggestions, and prayers.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

A Birthmother's Story

Please take a few moments to read this birthmother's story to try to gain a bit of perspective on what it is like for a woman who places her baby: My Baby, Not My Child.

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Where does the money go?

$800.00 - Application and Orientation Fee, "Among other things, includes review and processing of application documents, related agency overhead, intake interview, and file coordination setup costs."

$2,500.00 - Processing and Committee Approval Fee,"Among other things, this fee includes interviews and/or coordination with assigned social workers, case workers, and other agencies as needed; collection and review of all supporting documents along with home study (home studies are valid in Utah for one year...), committee review and related agency overhead."

$1,000.00 - Home Study Fee, "A home study is sometimes called an "adoption study," and is a written report containing the findings of the social worker who has met on several occasions with the prospective adoptive parents, has visited their home, and who has investigated the health, medical, criminal, family and home background of the adoptive parents. If there are other individuals that are also living in the home of the adoptive parents, they will be interviewed and investigated, if necessary, by the social worker and included as part of the home study. The purpose of the home study is to help the court determine whether the adoptive parents are qualified to adopt a child, based on the criteria that have been established by state law." -adoption.com

$6,500.00 - File Activation Fee, "Your file will be active and dated once this fee has been received and your home study approved. Fee includes, among other things, coordination with assigned social workers and case workers; coordination with other agencies, as needed; extensive efforts in searching and advertising for birth mothers; supporting and four hours of birth parent counseling; fast-track program; web-site profiles; coordination of matches between birth parents and adoptive families; post-placement services, and related agency overhead."

$5,500.00 - Agency Fee, "The agency fee covers other agency services, such as counseling, taking or arrangingrelinquishments or consents, certain personal costs, Utah paternity searches (up to 3), certain overhead, can certain legal fees, whether placement occurs through Act of Love, another agency out-of-state, or is structured as a direct placement, if required by the laws of the state where birth occurs."

$20,000 (estimated) - Birthmother Expenses, "[Birthmother] expenses may include, but are not limited to: transportation, hotel, maternity clothing, rent and utilities, food, misc. and personal items, birthmother coordinator (in and out of state), counseling (if over four hours charged in file activation fee is needed), legal fees, birth certificates, Utah paternity searches."

$UNKNOWN - Medical Expenses, "The adoptive family will pay all prenatal, labor, delivery, and post-delivery maternity related medical expenses for the birth mother and the child(ren) that are not covered by the birthmother's insurance or Medicaid." We had no birthmother or baby medical bills to pay with Mya's adoption because her birthmother applied for Medicaid for herself and Mya and all medical bills were incurred before relinquishment papers were signed.

$UNKNOWN - Additional Post-Placement Visits, "If more than three post-placement visits become necessary, the adoptive family will be charged $200, plus out-of-pocket expenses, for each additional post-placement visit." We had none with Mya's adoption.

$767.62 (estimated) - Attorney Fees and Court Costs, "Legal services required to facilitate the placement must be paid directly by the adoptive family to the attorney(s) providing the services..." This price estimation is based on what we were charged with Mya's adoption.

$500.00 - ICPC Processing Fee, ICPC (Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children) is what allows us to take our baby out of the state of birth. It has to be filed and completed through the court system before we can leave the birth state. It took about a week with Mya's adoption.

$5,500.00 - Agency Time and Travel, "...whenever [the agency's] employees are required to travel long distances, including into other states, to help facilitate a placement." We had to pay this with Mya's adoption because her birthmother requested a closed adoption which requires a caseworker to be the go-between.

$30.00 - Fingerprint Fees, A hard copy of our fingerprints are required for our background checks. We get them done at the local police station. PAID

$70.00 - Background Check Fees, A criminal background check must be done on both of us. PAID

$150.00 - Required Adoption Education Classes, Not Required Again

$3,696.75 - Our Travel Expenses, This figure is based on how much it cost with Mya's adoption. It is so low because the adoptions take place in the state my momma lives in and we stay at her place instead of a hotel until the ICPC (see above) goes through and we are allowed to go home.

(All quotes are from our adoption agency's paperwork except where indicated.)

The "C" Family's Adoption Journey

Our Story

Sunday, March 10, 2013

A Birthmother's Story

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